Scene 13 : Anxiety Attack

I had one of those nerve-wrecking moments.
Where it was difficult to breathe. Walking up and down.
Butterflies in the stomach, heart pounding faster than usual.
And just how few minutes seemed like forever to me.
My phone was set to silent mode, right after I sent the message.
Naively thinking that this would lessen my worried feeling.
I was wrong obviously. And so I waited, for an unknown outcome.
Can't you see how extremely terrified I am?
Few minutes passed and then all of a sudden, the phone vibrated.
I stood there with the phone in my hand, fearful.
It took me a while to gather some courage, and finally reading the message.
There it was, the results for PLKN series 7/2010.
I honestly believed that things would not turn out this way, not for me at least.
How relieved was I, really unforeseen. I'm glad. For now.
I did not get in PLKN, thank you.

Scene 12 : Farewell Prodigy

News of an unacceptable truth,
Spreading like wildfire around the globe.
Cries fills the air, sadness seen everywhere.
And at this very moment, time stops.
The whole world feels the pain, mourning.
As a great loss has just occurred.

Even though you're gone, you will be thought of.
For you will always and forever be in our hearts.
You are a legend, the king of pop.
MJ

Scene 11 : Fragile Future

Crap crap crap. Bunch of empty thoughts.
As much as I try to think right now, I just couldn't.
It's like I'm in a coma. Trapped in my own body.
Incapable of sensing or responding to external stimuli and internal needs.
And I started questioning myself, how could I let this happen?
How could I let myself slip this far, lost in darkness.
Trying so hard to put the blame on some innocent individual.
And then it struck me, that deep down I knew who's to blame.
I knew that this was somehow my own doing. And yet I'm still searching.
For that one particular reason, the factor that made me this way.
Help me, guide me. In finding myself again. I need to wake up.
I need to regain conscious.

I've been lost for years now, didn't you notice?

Scene 10 : Kindly Unspoken

What would you say to that special someone,
if this was the last time you'll ever meet?

stay.

Scene 9 : If I Could Change The Currents Of Our Lives

I've been running my whole life, to a destination of the unknown. Simply because I can't face the truth. What's here and what's not. Maybe a big part of me doesn't want to. I'm pretty sure of that. And sometimes everything that is wrong for me, feels so right. I hold on to things that I know wasn't meant to be from the beginning. I'm stubborn in so many ways, purposely denying every true facts. I was so afraid, still am. But look at where it has brought me. Nowhere.

'' don't live a life of fear. don't be scared. honestly, you're that
type. afraid of everything. but if you live that way, it'll bring you
nowhere. and you'll just end up with nothing. only a broken heart.
when maybe if you were braver, you could have gotten everything ''

Scene 8 : The First Cut Is The Deepest

I can't think. I don't feel a thing. I feel everything. I feel pain.
I'm extra extra mad. I'm really sad. I'm losing my mind. I'm confused.
I don't understand. I'm lost. I want to cry. I want to scream. I'm empty.
I can't speak. I can't move. I'm weak. I'm suffering. I want to stop.
I want to let go. I want to forget. I want to disappear.

Worst part is, everything stated above,
I let it happen to myself.

Scene 7 : Double A

A great listener, a great friend.
Awesome late night talks and chats.
I miss you quite a lot,
A. Amanina

Scene 6 : Half A Year

From your Sister,

Having a brother like you
has taught me a lot of things...
That laughter is good for the spirit.
That forgiveness is good for the soul.
That relationship are very resilient.
That sisters might as well be,
if they want to survive.
That time really does fly.
That memories improve with age.
That people can surprise you.
(and not just by jumping out from behind doors)
Having a brother like you has taught me that life is amazing,
Love is enduring,
And family is forever.

Happy Twenty-first Birthday Brother.

Scene 5 : Same Old Routine

Dramas, heartbreaks, and all sorts of high school problem.
Everything begins again.
Tomorrow.

Scene 4 : Counting The Days

244 days, 8 months
Since you've been away.

'' And I blame you for all my failures.
And I know that you think that you
have to do this today...but I don't want
you too. But I guess...if I love you,
I should let you move on ''
- 17 Again

Scene 3 : Six Letters, One Word

'' Sometimes all we need is a reminder
of what we have and forever will ''

And when it gets tough,
you can always fall back on them.
FAMILY

Scene 2 : Epilogue Prologue

Another day begins.
Sad but happy, happy but sad.
Surrounded by confusion.
Extremely scared and also excited.
Anxious for whats to come.
As the future isn't always certain, unpredictable.
The beginning of an ending.

And when my eyes are shut,
Flashback of our memories occur.
With so many words and feelings left untold,
How can I just forget and go?
But then again, I'm a good pretender.
Maybe this is for the best.
Maybe its not our time.
As I open them again and my vision becomes clear,
I'll see the world from a different perspective.
This time, its without you.
And so I gather all my strength and face it,
Alone.

Its time for a change,
For both you and me.
A new dawn awaits us.

Scene 1 : Curtain Close

As I stood there, spotlight on me.
Silence in the audience.

'' All this while I never told you how I felt. I kept it a secret for so long. But now I can no longer hold it in. I know that I don't have the right to do this as you already have another. But just for tonight, let me speak. Just listen. I promise you this will be the last time. I'm mad at you because you meant the world to me, and I always had you to count on. I always had you to talk to. But now, I don't have anyone. And even if I try talking to others, they wouldn't understand. They don't know me like you do. But I never hated you. In fact, everyday I love you more. Do you believe me? I know, it doesn't matter now. Everything is gone, you're gone. And what you ask from me now, I can't do it. I can't just be a friend to you. It hurts too much. This needs to stop, I can't hurt myself anymore. But I want you to be happy. Please forget me, everything. Maybe its better for the both of us to be strangers, for now. So I've decided, I'm letting you go.

But who am I kidding right. You know I'll never truly let you go. I promised you long ago that I'll love you always and forever. Just remember that whenever you feel like coming back, I'll be here waiting. Even if it takes years. I promise. So our story has finally come to an end. Till we meet again. Goodbye. ''

I fell on my knees as the last word was spoken.
Emotions took over me, I lost control.
Tears poured down endlessly.
Applause was heard. And I looked up.
I got the standing ovation.
The show was a success, but why do I feel broken?
At that very moment I knew.
No, I understood. Everything i gained means nothing without you.
And so the curtain finally closes.

Backstage I was congratulated by many.
And was told that it was my best performance.
To them I was just acting, to me it was real.
Never did I have to do a play that was so similar to my life.
And truthfully, it was the hardest act I had to pull off.

Dedicated to, F.